Immodest Daughters

Jennifer Moses comments in her recent WSJ article Why Do We Let Them Dress Like That on the regrets of her generation and witnessing the next repeat them:

Still, in my own circle of girlfriends, the desire to push back is strong. I don’t know one of them who doesn’t have feelings of lingering discomfort regarding her own sexual past. And not one woman I’ve ever asked about the subject has said that she wishes she’d “experimented” more.

As for the girls themselves, if you ask them why they dress the way they do, they’ll say (roughly) the same things I said to my mother: “What’s the big deal?” “But it’s the style.” “Could you be any more out of it?” What teenage girl doesn’t want to be attractive, sought-after and popular?

And what mom doesn’t want to help that cause? In my own case, when I see my daughter in drop-dead gorgeous mode, I experience something akin to a thrill—especially since I myself am somewhat past the age to turn heads.

In recent years, of course, promiscuity has hit new heights (it always does!), with “sexting” among preteens, “hooking up” among teens and college students, and a constant stream of semi-pornography from just about every media outlet. Varied sexual experiences—the more the better—are the current social norm.

I wouldn’t want us to return to the age of the corset or even of the double standard, because a double standard that lets the promiscuous male off the hook while condemning his female counterpart is both stupid and destructive. If you’re the campus mattress, chances are that you need therapy more than you need condemnation.

But it’s easy for parents to slip into denial. We wouldn’t dream of dropping our daughters off at college and saying: “Study hard and floss every night, honey—and for heaven’s sake, get laid!” But that’s essentially what we’re saying by allowing them to dress the way they do while they’re still living under our own roofs.

Moses asks some questions and sees some consequences, but never even grazes the issue–why are they starved for male attention and willing to dress for it from those who don’t have their best interests in mind? Because their fathers (and secondarily their mothers) either aren’t there or don’t care enough to invest the time into their daughters that make them see the hook-up culture for what it is–sexually lame and pitiful. When Moses questions her subtitle–referring to her own “liberated generation”–she’ll begin to see the profound anti-sexuality her daughter is inheriting.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *